David Flatley

Tag: Planet of the Apes

Take your filthy paws off my code, you damn dirty ape!

by on Dec.03, 2007, under Intense Nonsense

I admit, it’s no feat of intellect to defeat me in a competitive round of Mr. Elephant’s Matching Game, but can we not cater to this stereotype any longer? I thought we got past all this already?

According to Tetsuro Matsuzawa of Kyoto University:

“young chimpanzees at the age of 5 — have a better performance in a memory task than humans”

This may be an accurate statement when compared to some of us, myself included, who spend their entire lives glued to a mind numbing LCD screen flickering subliminal messages around the clock, but I’d like to see Ayumu remember how many times he’s been told not to fling his poo at passersby when these tests are over. And why are we researching such a thing to begin with? Am I seeing signs that the big companies are looking into our nearest cousins in the animal kingdom as possible replacements for my rich internet wonders? I wouldn’t put it past them.

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